Sorry Not Sorry

Greetings,

In full transparency,

I am not sorry that I did what I did. I am not sorry that I said what I said. My only regret is that I did not do so sooner.

No one determines your destiny but you. It does not matter your circumstances or where they place you. If you have the means (and some are hindered, society is a wicked web) do as you wish! The other will survive. They may even move into their own space and thrive. But do not close yourself in for them. Do not run. Gather yourself. Rebuild your trust in yourself. Rise!

-Rose

Tired and Over It

Greetings beloveds,

I don’t know about the rest of you but I have had a kinda rough start to the year. Culminating in this very stressful month of April. I think I will remember this month for the rest of my life. This was when everything changed. For the better I know though!

I had a feeling this was coming. Well that’s a lie, I knew it was coming. I have problems with letting go. With looking at something that is no good for me and saying goodbye. I always have faith and want to see the good in others. I want to believe that they have changed. Hell that I have changed. That we are better then what we were. Perhaps taking the morality out of the situation would help. We are definitely not where we were before but I would not say that we are better or worse. Different. Different is more than ok.

It’s difficult for me to be transparent. To say that I have a hard time. To be vulnerable. But that hasn’t served me well so here I am. All open and ready to receive.

Spring cleaning cleared out way more then what I thought it would. A relationship has come to a close for the second and final time. I’m done and over it. I’m ready to move forward. It feels complete. I know before I felt like I didn’t have the ability to say what I needed to say but not this time. Our fall out came because I stood my ground on an issue that had been bothering me for a long time. I have issues acknowledging where I need to improve. Everyday though I am getting better at it.

I’m not afraid any longer to say hmm yea that’s not me that’s you. That’s how you see me and it doesn’t matter what I do that’s how you will interpret what I do. That’s your right and prerogative. I too, have placed you into my image of who you are. We each have to make a choice to breakdown the image of how we see others and ourselves. We have to believe that others are here for us and to give their very best. If we look for pain it’s most likely what we will find. But don’t get lost in that law of attraction you create everything in your life because some people just suck. They hurt, fight, demean, are cruel and are just not so great people to have in our lives. It may be your choice whether you stay in that situation or not but it’s definitely not your choice for the actions that they do to you. So if staying in a matter of safety.  A matter of life and death, then you make the best choice for you. I have to admit, I have been blessed to never be in this situation but I can definitely see how this could evolve from a relationship (romantic, platonic, work, spiritual) that had no indications of becoming a monster, of becoming abusive.

We each do the best we can. I hope that you are able to one day cheat on fear. Take your power that you hold within you and move towards what will serve you best. I send all of you love.

-Rose

No

Greetings loves,

Today I experienced a profound moment. I talk about it often. That time where you are given the choice to take the road already traveled or set a new course. I almost went down that well traveled route. Then I sat. I closed my eyes, took several deep breaths and said Goddess what is this really about? And the answer was so clear: are you this person or not? If not, state who you are and do not waiver.

I am not the most confident person. I am highly cerebral so I tend to overthink everything. I am constantly going back and forth between what was said, what was done and what could have happened differently. Today was one of those days. Yet different, because I felt compelled to stop. Compelled to quiet down. Compelled to breathe. When I did the anxiety melted away. The answer became clear. There was no more back and forth and my response was a clear resounding no.

One thing that I have found is that everyone will not be able to accept your divine no. They will not understand the boundaries that hold especially if you have not always held them firmly in place. They see this an an attack. As your defiance. As you turning against them. Generally this is a trigger for bigger issues.

As a divine being. As a Priestess, it is not my job to tell you yes when the world has told you no. It is my duty to be my most authentic self,  love fiercely, and to reflect to you all that you are, have been and may be. I will not hold the burden of your developing self love for that is something that only you can do. I will support you. I will assist you. I will not stand in the flames for you nor will I distinguish my own flames for your desires.

I rise up as my true self and say no with love and compassion. For by saying no to who we are not we are shouting yes to who we truly are.

-Rose

 

Cheating

Greetings beloveds,

I am a cheater. I make elaborate plans to hide what I do in the hopes that no one will find out. Is it the rush? Is it the desire to have something that is all my own that I don’t share with anyone? I don’t know but what I do know is that I’m cheating on an old partner and I don’t care.

Fear. That’s who I’m cheating on. See at first I was like, oh I’ll move past fear. I’ll step out on fear. Then I said f-that, I’m gonna just go ahead a flat out cheat on it. I’m gonna do what I want with no need to share any information about what’s going on or my process. See fear doesn’t deserve that respect from me. Maybe in about a month. Maybe after I’ve realized that there is life past the fear. Then I’ll turn to that which makes me lose my breath and feel inferior and laugh in its face. I don’ know yet but I know I’m doing it.

How do you cope with fear?

-Rose

 

 

Hard Decisions

Greetings beloveds,

I hope you all have been soaring in love and productivity (even if that means just being still with yourself). I have had a lot going on over the last couple of weeks. I’m sure that you all have as well.

What I’m faced with is a choice. When I turned 28 I knew that my Saturn Return was coming up. That over the next two years more then likely my world would change dramatically. What I didn’t realize was how quickly that would happen. Already only 4 months into 2016 and I have some big decisions hanging over my head. So I did what any normal person would do in this space. I pulled some tarot cards.

I came up with three cards for this week from my Mermaid deck. Sacrifice, Receptivity, and Endurance. Sacrifice made immediate sense. This decision requires a sacrifice regardless of the decision that I make. Something will have to be given up to have the other option. The choice depends on what am I willing to sacrifice. Am I willing to sacrifice a portion of my freedom, my life, my body, and my income? Or will this sacrifice end in the greatest adventure and love of my life? What am I not being receptive too? Is the universe speaking to me and I need to button down and listen? Lastly, regardless of what decision I make, I will need to stay true to the course. I will need to love myself unconditionally and be the best friend and support for myself that I possibly can be.

How do you deal with big choices? How can you tell what is the right path for you?

-Rose

 

28 Day’s of Self-Care

Greetings beloveds,

I’m going to be sharing with you all the tips and information provided through the 28 Days of Self-Care. Here’s day 1!

This week our focus is on self-care and health. How many of us have made “new year’s” resolutions only to have had them fall by the way side by time the weather started to warm up? As the temperatures rises and our desire to spend more time outdoors and often with significantly less clothing, health begins to move more towards the forefront of our thoughts. So now is a great time to assess where we are and where we want to be.

Here’s a quick assessment you can use provided by the Mayo Clinic: http://mayoclinichealthsystem.org/locations/albert-lea/online-services/health-assessment-tool

How did you do? If there are areas that you know you want to improve in write out some goals and actions you can take to make that change. I usually use 4 categories and set goals from there. Don’t worry we’ll cover relationships, spirituality and wealth in the upcoming weeks!

  1. Nutrition
  2. Physical Activity
  3. Stress Management (this can include mindfulness)
  4. Sleep

So what are your goals? Share some of them here!

With lots of love,

Rose