Coming Up for Air


I had a move towards my purpose. For what I was meant to do. I shared an opinion today where as I usually do not and keep these things to myself. The person responded in a total backlash eventually blocking me. I hold some trauma from interacting with others and being railroaded then rejected. Yet this time, I observed while still feeling the moment. I was able to see that this person obviously had more invested in their stance then I did in the interaction. So I wasn’t mad when I saw what happened. My heart opened.

It made me want to reach out more because what I spoke on was something that I feel strongly about. The reaction and opinion of others though does not affect me unless I know it is coming from a heart centered space. I know now that I am capable of disagreeing but more so knowing where to put my energy.

So I would like to build materials on emotional intelligence. On finding one’s own way to manage their energy so that it is being put into what drives you and gives you peace. I didn’t know that folks could take your energy in so many ways but only if you let them. You can control this but it takes time, practice, and care. But this is what we are being called to do is to care for ourselves.It is how we learn to care for others and yet we have been taught that it’s the opposite way around. That’s ok. We all have unlearning and learning to do. It’s ok . It’s a lot of work. It’s ok. It can be overwhelming. It’s ok.

It’s ok. That’s what we have to focus on that it will be ok. We can learn. We can do better. We can support those who need it when they need it. We can be in ourselves and still be able to be there for others. It’s this idea that we are separate that is wrong. That what happens to one person affects us all.

The person who has been abused may abuse others. The person who has been hurt  may hurt others. The person who has untreated illness needs support and encouragement. The person who is well adjusted wants the same support and encouragement. We need to be there for ourselves and each other. We miss the boat when we put ourselves against the “enemy” or the the “bad person”. People do bad things. They are hurting. I have seen so much pain. Pain that I hold, that others hold, that are placed on others. But shutting down and shutting off is not the point. It’s to feel and be there for each other. Be there. Be there for yourself and be there for others.

You may not be able to control others reactions and feelings but you sure as hell can control your own and your level of interaction with others. If they are harming you get away. If what you are doing are harming others maybe it’s time to take a look at your behaviors or extract yourself from that situation.

We are here to move forward.

Let’s go.



The Aftermath

Yesterday was without a doubt traumatic.

Here we are called to not only use the skills that we have learned through our spiritual, emotional, and psychological work but also to take a stand for better policies and legislation. Our inner work should reflect externally and this means that as a whole we have to transform our institutions and structures to match our internal states.

So if you are a being of light and love. If you are focused on the positive and creating a better world. Yes it starts with you but it will also include you as a part of the whole. We can do this. We can make things better.

Here’s a way to get started: An Easy Guide to Contacting your Elected Representatives about Gun Control. .



Joy in the Darkness


Today my heart goes out to all those who are discriminated, hated, and judged. This post is not going to be clean and tidy so if you are opposed to strong language then please switch to another page.

Life is fucking hard. It can suck and some folks are just not nice. That’s a sad truth for a lot of people.

I spent a lot of time yesterday sending Reiki to myself and it was amazing. I felt so at peace and calm. Went to work out, buy some things for my divine masculine altar and took a long bath. This morning I went for a nice stroll, bought some cleaning supplies, cleaned up my apartment and then got on Facebook. Earlier this morning I ran across a post from Mercedes Kirkel on her experience that she is having with the ascension process that you can find here. She wrote that through her channeling with Mary Magdalene she has begun to ascend to the 4th dimension and with that the barriers that she has placed upon herself to protect her heart are falling away. She had a profound experience where she felt what Mary Magdalene felt upon hearing a story of sexual abuse. When I read Mercedes remarks on feeling everything. Not blocking out any emotion. That we often in order to shield our selves from pain, shut out emotions. This though also cuts us off from love.

My heart felt like it stopped in that moment. I feel a lot. I have bottled much of those feelings down because I fear that I cannot handle them. That they are too much for me and that I will crack or break under the weight of all the feels. So I often disassociate. Distract with projects, diverting my attention, focusing on the good things. This does allow for me to be able to think of something else for a limited time. But not forever. Not for long.

So I finished my chores. Ate lunch and was ready to check in to Facebook. See what was going on. My heart stopped. Then broke. My timeline was filled with news of the shooting in Orlando. Of the innocent lives forever changed and lost due to the bigotry and hatred. Immediately my mind moved to distract myself before the pain could set in. Then I stopped. My thoughts went to the post from Mercedes. I said this is it. This is when we start to numb ourselves. So I stopped. Sat back and just let the emotions flow.

Pain, so much pain. Confusion. I was perplexed by how resorting to violence is ever the answer. I know folks always say there’s a time and a place. That sometimes it gets to that point but it’s just so hard to see how that is ever the case. And in this circumstance any excuses are unacceptable. The time to reason and accept hatred as honoring another’s right to their beliefs and opinions is over.

We speak of love. Kindness. Peace. But we don’t live it. We don’t teach it. We teach fear, doubt, and judgement.

So I challenge you today. If you hear of the tragedy in Orlando today. Do not distract yourself. Feel the pain. Feel the terror, pain, despair, and horror. Whatever comes up for you, feel it. Then shift it if you can. Shift to anger if necessary. Shift to confusion. Shift and prepare for thought and action. May you be able to feel for those who cannot. And may you be able to do what you can to heal yourself, others, and our world.

  • Rose

Go with the Flow

Greetings everyone,

I have been feeling slow lately. Eating light (other than the wild craving for tacos), sleeping in, leisurely strolls, long baths and writing. Working. I was very active last week. Up early at the gym then yoga in the evenings. Now I just want to relax. I will admit, yoga class on Sunday kicked my ass. Part of the reason why I wanted to take things slow. It stretched me in ways that I wasn’t prepared to experience.

I would like to suspend my need to prepare for any and all experiences. My mantra for this is to trust that the universe is here to supply me with all of the experiences that I need in order to live my best life possible. I honor these experiences. In knowing this, I look to relinquish fear.

I have been a fearful creature. One who was more concerned with the external world than my own internal environment. I now look to move past that. To tune in consciously before reflecting outwardly. It is an adjustment but I do not mind. It is necessary. That in it’s self makes it worth while.

I believe they call this discernment.