Goddesses of Life and Death: Izanami-no-Mitoko

Greetings Beloveds,

Today we are covering the Goddess of Life and Death Izanami-no-Mitoko. You may or may not have heard of Izanami-no-Mitoko but there is always more to be explored. Below you’ll find a quick online resource guide which explores the story of Izanami-no-Mitoko from various perspectives.




Myths Encyclepedia-Izanagi and Izanami

Encyclopedia Britannica

Journeying to the Goddess- Goddess Iznanami-no-Kami

Owlcation- The Story of Izanagi and Izanami: A Story of Creation

Bella Online- Izanami-no-Mikoto Goddess of Life and Death

Excerpt from Sourcebook in Shinto: Selected Documents by Stuart D. B. Picken

Richard Hooker.com Shinto Creation Stories : Izanagi-ni-Mikoto and Izanami-no-Mikoto and the Birth of the Gods



Autumn Arrives: Shifting the Energy of Your Home from Summer to Fall


Greetings beloveds,

It’s finally here! My favorite season and not just because my birthday is in October. Here’s an excerpt on the energy of Autumn

Autumn – What a beautiful time of the year when the world has been scorched clean and is preparing to rest for regeneration. The world is again at a balanced state with the day and night again being of amounts. Yet this energy is distinct from the spring time as it marks the rise in darkness and decline of the light. Everything is beginning to slow down from the activity that was present during the summer. As such you may be feeling the need to slow down a bit as well taking in the last bits of sun before the weather truly begins to cool. Leaning towards spending more time indoors as the energy shifts from coming from the sun to being generated by the Earth that grew from the suns rays lovingly holding that heat for us until we release it through transmutation. This applies also to the foods that we consume at this time. These foods are rich and heavy because of the density of their energy that is packed tightly in order to give this energy to you through integration from being eaten.

The element of Autumn is metal within the Chinese system and although there is no air included in this framework metal holds many of the same characteristics. Metal is associated with the nose and the sense of smell. The air holds life just as much as water, wood, fire, and  earth. Air flows bringing subtle or drastic winds of change to us all. Sweeping away our completed works and driving us to come within from the coming chill. As such the focus is on the lungs and large intestines during this time. Breath rules these areas as the air gives life to fuel the rest of our body as well as move the waste from our lives through the large intestine. If you find yourself feeling sluggish it is never to late to release. Breathe deeply through one of the many forms of meditation that exists such as walking, mindful activities, breath work, or dream work.

Autumn Equinox- Entering the Underworld



I will cover more about entering the underworld later but you can read the rest of that blog post here. One of my favorite parts about fall is it’s signature scents, decor, food, and fellowship. The aroma of apples, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, vanilla, and of course pumpkin begins to fill the air. Accent colors and decorations shift from beige, blues, and greens, to yellows, oranges, red, and brown. Leaves and gourds replace shells and nautical themes. Autumn is here.

Using these few tips one can quickly shift the energy of your home, office, or even car to feel more like fall. Another easy way to accomplish this is to open your windows releasing the summer air and welcoming in the fall breezes. I always change out my altar decorations and this always puts me into the energy of the next season. What’s your favorite way to shift the energy of your home from summer to autumn? Share with us below in the comments.


Goddesses of Life and Death: Coatlicue- Aztec Earth Goddess

Greetings Beloveds,

Today we are covering the Goddess of Life and Death Coatlicue the Aztec Earth Goddess. You may or may not have heard of Coatlicue but there is always more to be explored. Below you’ll find a quick online resource guide which explores the story of Coatlicue from various perspectives.



Ancient History Encyclopedia- Coatlicue

Khan Academy- Coatlicue

Encyclopedia Britannica- Coatlicue

Time Top 10 Earth Goddesses

Inside Mexico- The Legend of Coatlicue and Coyolxauhqui

The Great Courses Plus- The Colossal Stone Statue of Coatlicue

The Gods Laid Bare


God Checker- Your Guide to the Gods

Infinite Detox- What the Heck is a ‘Coatlicue Complex’

Excerpt from Blood Lines: Myth, Indigenism, and Chicana/o Literature by Sheila Marie Contreras

Autumn Equinox Feminine and Masculine Energetic Readings: From Chaos comes Power- From Darkness comes Light

20170825_090827Greetings beloveds,

Fall will be a season of renewal through death. It is an old process that the Earth is well aware of but that modern society has pushed from its consciousness due to modern industry, technology, and agriculture. Psychologically, the need to go within and have time to reflect, release, and create still calls upon us. This fall, we find ourselves in deep reflection. This has been a year of great change, re-calibrating, and the universal reveal of the shadow. Issues such as racism, sexism, classism, judgement, shaming, fear mongering, scarcity mindset, and abuse tactics have reared their head this entire year forcing us to face what we may have previously been able to at best ignore. There are many choices available to us on how to interact with this energy. The wheel of fortune is resetting and we are nearing the point when the cycle will reach its start point. We have examined our patterns and now I hope that we are all able to utilize mechanisms that honor our own and each others sovereignty.

This fall take the injustices, the fears, the anger, the sadness all the feelings that you have experienced over the past year and let them bring you to a place of action guided by integrity and spirit. Find a space where you can unite with others to bring peace, love, and justice to the world around you. Ground yourself in energy that is geared towards sustainability, holistic health, and wellness. These will assist you as you turn to face your fear this season. There is a power in naming that which has control of us. Be wise about the attention or energy that you give to your fears. This could strengthen them. Instead, take time to find out the root of your fears and begin to dismantle them. This may need to be done under the supervision of a trained professional counselor or therapist. If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed immediately see out support from your community and professionals.


If your fear surrounds expansion, that you are not good enough, that you cannot succeed in making your dreams come true, this month will bring you opportunities to call your fears bluff. Why do you play small? Why do you not reach for the stars? Perhaps you are concerned with what others will think of your dreams or your passion. Or maybe you do not think that what you want to do will be “practical” enough to afford you to pay your bills and survive. Whatever your fears are October is the time to turn to them and laugh in their face. Not a mocking laugh but one of joy and ecstacy. Make your projects and passion fun. Fully embrace what makes them appealing to you. There is a reason that you were born. There is a reason that you feel called to follow your dreams. When you feel restricted remember what makes you feel free about this endeavor. What liberates you about your passion. Let that be what drives you. If all else fails, find songs, clothing, art, food, or some other form of entertainment that represents your desire and go full out with it. Dance all night, have elaborate dinners with yourself or your friends, head to the costume shop and dress as your favorite character. Live it up my loves. This is the month to find the joy in your dreams. Let your heart be your guide.


From the chaos will come love and then law. The world is continuing to be pulled a part. Everything is being put into alignment and that can look like chaos. It is time be honest about who you are, where you are, and what you want. Love must be accompanied be trust if not to create pain. Trust is built upon sharing intimacy, our truth, and our fears. Intimacy can be one of the things that we fear the most. Allowing another to see us for who we truly are. The survivor, the monster, the hypocrite, the liar, the adulterer, insecure, insane, neurotic, needy, demanding, or broken. All parts of who we may be that we do not want others to see. We want to appear as completely put together. Or at least holding things together well enough to not appear as out of control. We hide the chaos of our true selves under many layers of our more “positive” traits.

Or perhaps we do not hide our chaos. Perhaps we put it all out there. During this age of social media there are more channels than ever to share our truth with everyone. Sharing and integrating are very different things though. You may know someone who has no trouble letting you know all of their flaws and the hardships that they face. Yet it seems that they remain in these cycles over and over. You wonder how? Are we not to face and speak our truth? We can acknowledge something or pay lip service to it and never attempt to change things.

This November that time is up. The truth of our beings will be placed upon the scales of justice and Maat will see you now. Get yourself into alignment. There are 42 Laws of Maat, because when chaos began to shift into order Maat was formed to create and judge the laws upon which the world revolved. Will your scales be balanced? If not make the necessary changes. Know this though that the only one who can balance your scales is you. The same is true for everyone else. You cannot balance someone else scales. They must do their own work. They must own their own work. If you find one of your scales is unbalanced then perhaps you are carrying too much weight. Is it yours? If not they it is time to place that weight where it belongs. Give it back to who it belongs to. Taking ownership of our truth and our scales is justice. When we must carry the full weight of who we are that is judgement. You can balance your scales and in doing so you will achieve justice.


Over the past two months you have journeyed deep within the underworld. You have faced your fears and balanced your scales. What did you find when you did this work? How are you feeling now? We are nearing the point of the darkest night of the year. Do you feel the depth of yourself? The complexities of who you are and what you can be? Within the shadows of yourself have you found the light? Even if it is just a sliver, it is there. The truth of the shadow is that it cannot exist without the light. Your fears could not exist without your dreams, hopes, and desires. Within this work that you have done this season, find your power. That light that lies within the shadow is strong enough to exist within the darkness. That same light and power exists within you. When you face those fears you take back the power that they had over you. You can then harness that power to manifest what you dream of. Why do you think so much of our society is based upon creating fear in us? So that others who know how to work with that energy can harvest it to create empires. Go within, enter the darkness, face your fears, and find the light of power that exists there. Then, following the winter solstice as the light of the world begins to return bring that power back with you out of the underworld and into your reality.


Autumn Equinox 2017 Love Reading: Alignment and Creation

Autumn Equinox Love ReadingSo, how’s the love life going? No, seriously how are your connections to yourself, your romantic partners, friends, family, and acquaintances? This season is filled with an energy of clear and rational thought leading our perspective of our feelings and experiences. Looking at the area of love we are reflecting on what has occurred in our connections. This seems to be a theme that has carried over from the Summer. There were a lot of shifts that occurred in relationships over the summer particularly before, during, and after the full solar eclipse.

Are you finding that you’ve been repeating patterns and situations? We all do so it is nothing to feel ashamed of or fearful of. I know I often become preoccupied with the question, “did I learn the lesson yet?” because I want to get past that pattern. Accepting that this is a circular energy and not a finite one, I know there’s always more to learn and deeper to go with the lesson. That it may take several times experiencing something to realize that what you thought the lesson was about was only the tip of the iceberg. This is an excellent season to reflect on where you were a year, 5 years, 10 years ago compared to where you are now. What occurred during that time? Did you expect it or did life shift in a way that you never imagined? Give thanks for what has been or do not, it’s your choice. There’s a beautiful quote from the oracle deck Universal Love that sums up this energy perfectly, “Everything turns golden with the passing of time. Like autumn leaves that fall to the ground filling the tapestry of our lives with beautiful colors,”. Let the things that have occurred support and teach you. Let what serves you remain and let the rest fall to the ground.


Spend time during the first third of autumn in meditation clearing, connecting, and filling your energy centers with light, love, and grounding. The energy of love can transcend the pain of what we have experienced or what we fear. To hold the frequency of love requires for us to be willing to open ourselves up to thoughts of what has been, what could have been, and what we desire. We are heading into the underworld so being confronted with what we are attached to that defines us is to be expected. To face these attachments is not the same as holding on to them. You can just observe them. After observing what comes up for you, then decide if you would like to keep this as is in your energy, release this from your energy, or transform it. Connecting to and clearing our energy centers assists us with aligning with our true self. When we are centered we are better able to discern between what fits with who we are and what does not. This allows us the opportunity to craft our spaces to fit us best.


Through connection and discernment, we find ourselves feeling motivated to purposefully unite our masculine and feminine energy. The theme of balance and reflection continues during this third of the season through the form of energetic union. The activation of kundalini energy coincides with the primordial energy of creation and illumination. Through practices which bring us into conversation with the divine or Spirit we awaken the possibility to change our perception of ourselves as separate to collective. The basis of Spirit leads us back to love.


We are firmly within the underworld at this point. All seems dark and then there is a spark of light. A calm stranger steps forth from the darkness and gestures for you to follow them. Without fear having cleared your energy and united into a full being within the collective with Spirit, you follow them. A short while later, not even a full minute, you look around realizing that the stranger has disappeared. Unsure of where you are, you glance around quickly to see if there is anyone or anything there. Your vision having adjusted to the strangers’ light, feels the complete void of darkness from their absence. Wait. Was that something? You try to focus more on the space where you thought you saw something. Yet the harder you look, the more obvious it becomes that you cannot see what was or is there with your physical eyes. You close your eyes, calm your breath, sink into your form and begin to feel what exists around you through your extrasensory abilities. Then it happens. There is a spark of light moving across the darkness forming a door. Eyes still closed, you move towards the light, trusting in the process. As soon as you reach that space, light floods the area and you raise your hands as if to block it out. The light dims slowly as you lower your arms opening your eyes to witness a room that embodies comfort and ambience. You have entered the 8th gate.

I have spoken a bit about the 8th gate as the space of creation within the underworld. It is a space that is unique specifically to your soul. No 8th gate space is exactly the same. All the work you have done over the past season has brought you here to have the opportunity to dream and decide what you would like to experience when you leave the underworld. This is the time when if there is something you would like to manifest, things are falling into alignment to assist you with taking this dream and making it into a reality. It is the trilogy of light that exists in the darkest time of the year.

I hope that these messages are helpful to you as we navigate the energies of fall. Meditate, pray, do whatever brings you closer to your higher power.

Here’s to designing our life through balance and alignment.


Autumn Equinox Energy Forecast: Harmony in Mind, Heart, Spirit, and Body

Autumn Equinox

Greetings beloveds, 

It’s a bit chilly you as you open the door to start your day. Children have returned to school and perhaps you or others you know have returned to their higher education studies. Cars are riding with the windows down. Patios are open and becoming you to come, eat, and relax at restaurants. The evenings grace us with cool breezes reminding us of warm drinks, cozy fires, and nourishing comfort foods. Oh yea and it’s officially pumpkin spice everything. Welcome to Autumn.

This is going to be a season of thoughtfulness. Metacognition, research, education, advances in technology and detail oriented analysis. Autumn crawls in shifting the energy towards stillness, turning us inwards. As Autumn is ruled by the element of air and the cardinal sign of Libra we find ourselves reflecting on balance, justice, beauty of our experiences and being. You can read more about the Autumn’s energy here. This season may come as a comfort for some after the deep emotional work and release that occurred over the summer. We will find ourselves taking a more detached and rational approach to our relationships, plans, and desires. This does not mean that we will become cold hearted but more so that we will process experiences through a different lens.

Now, we will be accessing our world through the perception of Lady Justice. As you know, her eyes are covered for she weighs the choices and works of this world based on intuition and her connection with Spirit. Has what occurred brought balance to myself, others, and our world? Are my plans and desires rooted in creating balance, beauty, and justice? If not, it is time to re-examine your goals and plans. We have entered an age of transparency and authenticity. If your works and ambitions will knowingly cause harm or pain they will not serve you well. Remember, Fall is not only about balance but justice. So be mindful of what you would like to create in the world. Justice will be served if not on this plane on another.


We start this season off still smarting from the burning away of relationships, illusions, and connections from the summer and eclipse. You may find your thoughts still preoccupied with a broken heart, rejection, insecurity, or grieving for the loss of what was. Many have experienced the loss of their jobs, cars, homes, family, friends, lovers, animal companions, and dreams. This mental masturbation should begin to quiet during October. As you begin to accept the new world that you exist in you will begin to operate from a more balanced place internally. What has been occurring over the past year has been a reconfiguration of the masculine. This is an energy that we all hold so we have all felt the pangs of healing. The masculine lay at the bottom of the ocean over the summer watching the shimmer of the sun against the water. Knowing that at some point they would shine again. Struggling to become a part of the depth of the waters as the salt cleansed wounds with a searing burn. Has our masculine risen? Time will tell.

Following the eclipse, the path was opened to drift into the sweetness of fresh waters. These waters provide a gentler healing where one can look around them and see how they might fit into this world. The energy of Libra soothes the critical Virgo energy as we now look at what CAN be done to achieve our goals and heal. October via Libra is a time for forward movement focused on the truth that self-care produces the means to achieve successful supporting external relationships. Our hearts were heavy this summer and it is time to balance the scales. What do you need to release to bring harmony? Do you need to work with your heart? Become your hearts friend? Or perhaps you need to let your heart have the entire bowl on one side of the scale and increase your weight of your thoughts by going deeper within your mind and connection with spirit.


Balancing our heart brings us to a space of divine healing. Spend the time of October 22-November 22 focused on your spiritual wellbeing and connection. Time spent in meditation, spiritual communion, prayer, and spiritually focused study will begin to remove the blocks within your energy that have restricted your ability to expand. It must be noted this may not be a pleasant experience. Think of when your leg has fallen asleep and you begin to slowly move it to get the blood flowing again. It’s prickly and tingling. A strange feeling that can be unpleasant but let’s you know unequivocally that you are alive. That is how this healing will feel. We have shifted into Scorpio season which is calling us into the underworld. The veils of the world are becoming thinner so that this spiritual work can be done with more ease. Release resistance to this process. Prepare for it. You know that the underworld is coming so get ready. This is one of the few times I can tell you, the underworld is not sneaking up on you. Death is standing right in front of you, letting you know my time is coming.

Think of this like the rip current. The advice when you encounter a rip current is to not fight the waves that are pulling you under and out to see. Swim parallel to the shore and try to conserve your energy. Go with the flow because you feel as if you are being pulled under when you are really being pulled out. You are being forced to expand at a rate that is faster than what we are used to. The water will toss and tumble you. This is not about what you want and there is no directing this event. You can only focus on yourself. Swim along what you are wanting to achieve. Eventually your feet will touch the bottom of the ocean. You’ll feel the steadiness of the land beneath your feet. Then you’ll be near enough to the shore, to moving out of the underworld, that you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The point? To wake you up. To make you remember the brilliance of this world. To know your power and purpose. To see the beauty in yourself and others. Our motto for the middle portion of Autumn is “just keep swimming”.


As Winter approaches, the days shorten and the sky darkens as we are pulled into the spirit world. We are nearing the season of death and rebirth. You have worked to balance your heart, establish a spiritual connection founded on healing, and now it is time to share your truth. This may be with close friends, your family, your social media circle, or the world. Regardless of whether you speak your truth to your animal friends or in a public announcement, speak. Embody your truth so that your very being expresses your story. Nonverbal communication will serve you just as much as audible speech. Dress yourself in a fashion that is aligned with your true self. Let the movement of your body be lead by your intuition. Perhaps taking a class on speaking, ballet, pole, or another form of physical expression through movement. These classes will assist you in finding motions that will meet this need. This will also be an excellent time to work on your throat chakra through sound and crystal healing modalities. I recently started working with the gong and singing bowls and they have changed every aspect of my practice. Toning, chanting, singing, even reading your own words aloud are additional forms of practice to take up at this time.

Well loves that’s our overview for Fall 2017. There will be a bit of work involved but it will be worth it. Here’s to meeting you all in the underworld at Winter’s Solstice.







SPOILER* Mother! Movie Synopsis, Review and Analysis: A Knife in the Heart

Greetings beloveds,

Well I have a doozy for you all today! Here’s my SPOILER filled synopsis, review, and analysis of Mother!.

First, I was the only person in this film until about the opening credits when a couple came in. I had never been in the stadium theater alone before. It was very nice but also set the mood  and tone for this film perfectly. I did not know what to expect going in. I saw the trailers and it looked like a classic horror or thriller film. I had no intention of seeing Mother! because I have sworn off movies that will produce fear in me, which horror/thrillers tend to do. Early this morning, before I arose for my workout I came across Chris Stuckman’s Youtube review of the film. As he explained that this movie was less horror more theory/abstract/metaphor I became intrigued.  I felt even more compelled to go once I heard that Darren Aronofsky directed this piece. You might remember him from Requiem of a Dream or The Fountain. So I decided to take myself to see the film.

I was not prepared for what I experienced. I still thought that this was going to be a horror or thriller movie because the atmosphere of the film had that vibe from the very first scene. The film opens with a woman who is obviously very badly burned with the world burning around her and a look of intense grief. That first visual is so stunning it immediately pulls you into the story. I thought, oh we are going to try to find out what happened to the first wife and how the house caught on fire. Which, honestly we do but not in the way you would think. We then meet our two main characters Mother played by Jennifer Lawrence and Him played by Javier Bardem. I had my reservations about Lawrence’s performance because I do not find that she is cast in the best roles to suit her style AND that often they continue to force her into roles/characters when she is clearly not interested in playing the part (see Hunger Games/X-Men). She was absolutely superb in her role as Mother though. She brought an innocence, growth, and emotion to this part that I feel probably came from real world experience.

On to the movie! From the beginning we see that there is a deep love between Mother and Him but that there is friction and tension because Him is a poet, a creator, who is unable to create. Him has writers block. Mother on the other hand is thriving- building, decorating, and caring for their home and Him. You can see Mother’s frustration at not being able to assist Him with gaining inspiration for his next poem. As she continues to work on the home and providing a space where Him can create we are thrown out of this “paradise” Mother is trying to create into a world of pain and confusion. There are several times when Mother touches the house, such as during a scene in the beginning where she is mixing pigments to create the perfect color for her walls, that she places her hand on the house and is able to connect with heart of the home. The heart of the home and Mother have a connection through which she feels it’s pain and feels hers. They act in response to each other. The Home is an extension of Mother.When these episodes occur, Mother moves to the bathroom where she has some yellow powder in a bottle that she mixes with water. This powder seems to have the ability to calm her down. Now I am not sure what the yellow powder was.

Their paradise is interrupted as Ed Harris’s character Man arrives followed soon by his wife played by Michelle Pfeiffer as Woman and their two sons who are engaged in an intense conflict. Aronofsky verified that these characters can be interpreted as Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel respectively. Harris and Pfeiffer’s characters bring to us the introduction of the human element into the world of the Gods. Ed Harris is clearly unwell and has no regard for Mother’s requests not to smoke in the home. Michelle Pfeiffer is invasive, inquisitive, and a bit unruly. She asks about Mother and Him’s sex life, their desire for and lack of children. She is intrusive and even says, “I can be too forward sometimes”. Pfeiffer’s character can be clearly juxtaposed against Mother’s character as confident, outspoken, forward, sexual, wise, and jaded. Mother on the other hand when she first interacts with Pfeiffer’s character is sheltered, protective, unsure, conservative, and passive aggressive. What we really get to see from the introduction of these other characters is Mother’s inability to be heard.

I immediately resonated with this display of silencing as I have been working on my throat chakra because I tend to feel like people do not listen to me and this is sometimes reinforced by their not doing as I asked. Mother experiences this at an even greater capacity. First, Him does not ask whether she would feel comfortable having the Man or the other’s that follow him into their home. Mother repeatedly asks throughout the movie, “who are these people? Why are they here?”. The premise that these people are strangers who feel as if they desire access to Mother’s home speaks to our idea that the Earth is here for us to ravish and provide for us. Although Him acknowledges that this is THEIR home, He feels comfortable making decisions without Mother’s input. Ed Harris’s character Man, at first listens to her request to not smoke in the home but then later she finds that he has been smoking in his room. The Woman just pretty much does what she wants. Barging in on Him’s office even when Mother explains and pleads for her not to do so.  Although, these people are in Mother’s home they do not listen to her requests. She has provided them with shelter, food, drink, and safety yet the Man and Woman are more concerned with being with Him then honoring Mother’s preferences. This goes so far as to destroy something very important to Him in their attempt to be near him.

Let me tell you, I commiserated with Mother through out this entire ordeal. Every time she would ask for something, make a request, set a boundary it was like she had never spoken. Sometimes they would even respond with “what?”, as if they had not heard her. I’m sure we have all experienced that moment when we express something only to have that person come back to us later and ask us for the same information again. Or to just ignore what we said altogether. Yet, Mother continued to clean up and care for everyone within the home. I found myself saying over and over again, girl let them clean that up themselves. Let them make their own food and drinks. But Mother kept mothering and I was reminded of the social pressure to present ourselves as open and welcoming particularly for the feminine energy. Being a good host is equated with being a good person. If you are not then you are rude, a bitch, or have a “bad attitude,”. The focus should be on making the other person feel comfortable despite how you are feeling. The sacrifice of the self is deemed acceptable to please others.

Things continue to fall apart the more people come to their home. There is a fight between the brothers where everyone ends up leaving the home except for Mother because Him tells her to stay there. She pleads crying don’t leave me. This part broke my heart because this was clearly a traumatic moment and yet over and over again we see Him as more concerned with the welfare of their visitors then his wife Mother. He expects that she will be fine and that because she is home, he will be fine. It is the Man and Woman who “have no where else to go”. Eventually at the end of the movie Mother confronts Him about his abandoning her but it is too late for amends by then. The reality of seeing the emotional cost of trying to make everything perfect and be this supreme nurturer who gives and gives to everyone else but is left to fend for herself when she is in need of support was gut wrenching. It brought back memories of my own experiences of being in unequally yoked relationships. Where I was the giver and hardly ever the receiver. At one point even one of the son’s comments on the fact that they left her at the house in this very dangerous emotional moment. He leaves tossing back “good luck” before never being seen again.

This theme of silencing and not being heard repeats throughout the film. As more and more people enter the home the less Mother is heard, respected, and acknowledged. She eventually has a break after they flood her home (what connection to a biblical story does this symbolize hmm?). Now, Mother tried to warn the people that if they kept up their behavior they would break her home. Their response to this was “what’s her problem? She doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. Then when she was right it was like oh, oh well. Mother then confronts Him commenting on how it is always about him and never about her. How what she needs are never prioritized if they are even acknowledged. She then comments on his inability to have sex with her. (The Woman has recognized his inability to perform as their issue earlier in the film). Ding ding ding ding. Alarm bells go off for me as the tension of calling into question male or masculine virility, libido, and sexuality immediately makes me fearful of his reaction. It is one thing to comment on his not listening to her and need to control the situation in their home. It is another to talk about his sexual performance or lack thereof as this can be a very sensitive topic. Male/Masculine violence is a threat that although I have not experienced first hand, the effects have imprinted themselves upon my psyche as someone who works in the health care field. I knew that this could go several ways but more than likely would end in some form of re-connection.

They end up reconnecting once all the people have been forced from her space. This connection is physical, sexual, and passionate. The coming together of the feminine and masculine is powerful. The energy of the home shifts as Mother’s does. She brightens and the scene shifts to morning, brightening their home as well. It also ignites the energy of creation. Him began to feel alive when the Man, Woman, their family, and friends needed him but it was not until he united fully with Mother that he actually was able to create. Wow, what does this suggest about the idea of finding our purpose outside of ourselves? Him thought that he had to bring life into the home from the people around him. When he connected with his feminine element within the home, life was there waiting for him the entire time. Likewise, Mother wanted nothing more than to just be alone with Him. It took Mother speaking her truth/finding her voice by calling Him out to bring her back into her power.

This imagery brings to the conversation the need for balance. What we seek cannot be found outside of ourselves but if we are not brave enough to let our desires be known then they go unfulfilled. Also, we meet the Shadow of Mother in her passive aggressive acquiescence to Him’s requests even when she is not in agreement. To settling their issues with sex without exploring Him’s lack of communicating. We also begin to see fully that although it is not healthy or fulfilling for Him to seek continuously outside of himself, it is also not healthy for Mother to be so focused ONLY on Him and their home. We will discuss more on this later.

Highlighting again some assumptions we have of the magic of Mother, the feminine, and women, Mother miraculously knows that she with child without any validation from outside sources. She is becoming more like the wise Eve who intuitively was able to read the issues between Mother and Him. Although it might be said that tapping into her sexuality allowed Mother to become more open to her intuition, I argue that it was speaking and living her truth. Mother wanted to be connected with Him alone in their home that she made for Him. Whenever these desires were not honored she was out of alignment with herself. She was disconnect from her heart. Her heart and her home began to die. When we are not in alignment it becomes harder to hear our guiding inner wisdom. By expressing herself, Mother tapped into a deeper part of herself and her partner Him. This opened and activated her throat chakra and activated his root and sacral chakra stirring up the energy of creation. He then stimulated the same activation in Mother. They worked together to move and release the Kundalini energy of spirit and creation.

Mother knew she was pregnant and Him after a moment believed her. The spark was ignited. The wheels of creation put into motion. He began to write. All has returned to right in their world as Mother has again reinforced their foundation and Him has returned to creating. There is a beautiful moment shared that becomes marred as the same issues of desires, fulfillment, and connection rear their head. Him is driven by attention and the praise he receives from his creation. Breaking Banter’s Youtube channel compared him to an artist who thrives off the attention they receive for their work. We find that Him contacted his publisher before sharing his art with Mother. What was a beautiful moment between the two of them actually was between Him and many others. This really highlights the different ways that these two get their needs satisfied. Mother could be associated with an introvert who does not need a lot of interaction. She finds having to spend time and hold space with a lot of people to be draining. Him though THRIVES from spending time with others. He becomes energized and excited to create the more time he spends with people. You could also look at their love languages. Clearly, Mother’s love language is quality time, while Him enjoys acts of service which make his life function well so he can give/receive from the public.

Now this is the point in the film where everything starts to fall apart, literally. A very slow start for the first two acts noticeably speeds up after the poem/book is published. We see the final moment where Mother’s home is HER home. Where she has created and designed everything within this space. It is all hers that she freely shares with Him. Quickly, fans, people, his publisher, his followers steal this home and her creations away. What starts as people just wanting to be around Him turns to worship of his image, his words, his beliefs, his things. People pour into this home and we see that this is not a “house”, it is their world. Different rooms become different movements, eras, and situations. The lower levels holds more violence and aggression, the middle level/stairs are the spaces for reverence and worship, and the top level or Him’s office becomes the space of of the Gods. We could liken this to our subconscious, conscious, and superconscious or the Id, ego and superego.

As this last act of the film completes the new testament there’s a lot that happens during that time. We see the disconnect that exists between the people and Mother. No one listens to her. No one cares about what she has created. No one stops to see if she is healthy (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally) or how her child is doing. They push her out the way, they take her things, they talk over her. She only becomes relevant when she is with Him. Even with his Publisher, who I am interested in figuring out who she represents, Mother only matters because she makes Him look good. Once the Publisher feels Mother has served her purpose, the Publisher’s character makes an extreme change in her actions. The Publisher also made me realize that there is not a female character that really connects with Mother. There is though a male character, one of the swat team members or soldiers, late in the movie who attempts to move Mother to safety. That was really the only person who seemed to “see” Mother. How is it that the person who has designed this world can go completely unseen? It seems that the lack of respect and acknowledgement of Mother from the beginning eventually created a world where she meant nothing. She was the same as everyone else. Except to Him.

As Mother gets closer to giving birth, the more the house reacts to her state. Mother attempts to leave the home but is diverted by Him. He refuses to take her from the house. Instead he moves her upwards towards the higher conscious space/his space. Him moves her to a place where she can give birth safely. Mother pleads with Him again to let it just be the two of them in their world bringing this being to life. This is the moment that Him speaks his truth. He states that he likes having these people here. He does not want them to leave. Finally, the truth is on the table. Mother is FINALLY beginning to see Him for who he is. We know now that neither Mother or Him saw each other for who and what they were. They each were trying to meet their own needs which kept them from being able to fully understand what the other being desired. Mother may have been more giving but she was TOO giving. Him liked to receive but he was took TOO much. Not that Him was not giving as much of what Mother gave Him, he gave away. Both masculine and feminine were out of balance.

The child is born and Mother moves into mama bear mode. There is a line where Michelle Pfeiffer says something to the effects of that when they have a child they will have created something together. Mother created the home, Him created his works but they needed something to bind them together outside of their selfish devotion to each other to meet their unbalanced desires. Now that Mother has a child, Mother is not taking any crap from Him. She claims this child and as such seems to no longer need all of the attention from Him. She has something outside of herself that is a part of them both to protect. Eventually though the world always gets in, or in this case, given a sacrifice. I will not spoil this moment yet, but there is a powerful scene about our creations, consumption, and ownership.

Mother, in attempting to finally be vocal and physical is protecting what is hers, is punished severely. Him moves to protect her but it is too little too late. Then he asks that Mother forgive them. I know that as I sat there I had the same look of disbelief on my face as Lawrence did. Forgive these people for the horrible things they have done?? It seemed unthinkable. I believe in forgiveness though in order to prevent the very thing that happens next. When the world and its’ people have betrayed you to the point where you are unable to forgive them, destruction will follow. Mother looks around her and the pain, devastation, and destruction that has occurred in her home. She sees Him who always chooses her too late to count. Mother moves from the bringer of life/light to the sword of truth, to the scales of judgement, finally taking her form as the bringer of death/darkness. As they say let that shit burn.

As a Priestess of the Underworld and the Goddesses of Life/Death, watching this cycle on the screen was profound. Seeing the attempt to bring life both from Mother and Him, then watching it’s colossal failure was painful. I felt their pain as they each tried to create something beautiful and everlasting. Mother gives the very last of her including the final spark of light which will birth a new world. The cycle begins again. Mother has changed yet Him remains the same. This indicates that Him has experienced this cycle before as this is the start of the film and the end. How many times has Him watched the world grow and die around him? And is it that being this creator who cares more for his creations than his love is his nature that he cannot divest from just as much as it is Mother’s nature to give all of herself to him? There was more sacrificed in this film than just Mother, her home, her child, her world. The chance for Him to evolve was sacrificed, the chance for Mother to leave this world and see what lies beyond the walls that she has built, the chance to see what they son may have created, so much was given to begin again.

What cycles of sacrifice do you find yourself in? Where do you need to stop and see the world and the people in it for who they really are? Perhaps they can change. If they do, it will be of their own accord. We cannot love someone into doing or being what we desire. We cannot limit someone to make them stay where we feel safe and cared for. Mother! is a film that calls into question our truth and how we express it. The complexity of the masculine and the feminine both within ourselves energetically and displayed externally.

I have been working with the energy of sacrifice for the past year. Trying to figure out what does it mean? What is it’s purpose. I tried to reframe sacrifice into making something sacred but it just could not wash away the dread I felt that radiated energetically from the word. Mother! placed on screen my deepest fear and understanding of sacrifice. No matter how you paint it, to sacrifice anything is painful and powerful. It will make your realize the importance of that which you value while also highlighting its impermanence. We will continue to give our all and it will be taken until someone makes a choice to do differently. Walk out the door, crawl through the wall, climb out the window. What you seek from another can be found within. But you must break the cycle.

Whooo well that was a lot so I’m signing off. To sovereignty, autonomy, self-care, community, and love.





New Moon in Virgo- Examining Your Attachments Through Beauty and Ecstasy

New Moon Readings (1)Greetings beloveds,

It’s the new moon in Virgo and hopefully during the full moon in Pisces you reviewed your manifestations and goals to see determined what has worked for you and what has not. From there, you can fine tune your actions and beliefs so that you are using systems that work for you. Well that time of assessment is not quite complete. This is another chance to look at what attachments you are holding on to that are restricting your ability to move and grow. 

What is holding you back? Are you still telling the same story that you have been telling for the last year, 5 years, 10 years? It is time to take the blinders off and see things what they really are. Perhaps there are external factors that are keeping you chained to certain conditions. Or maybe you have attached yourself to beliefs, people, or behaviors that are keeping you from designing the life you would like to live. It’s time to get real before the new manifestation cycle begins with the full moon in Aries in October. It is never too late to start again. Take off the shackles to that relationship, the concept of yourself, or that job. Now, that does not mean that you have to physically remove yourself from the situation unless that is the next step. This may be an energetic release that needs to occur. That can be done through cutting connections through ritual or therapy. Do what you feel called to do to cut those ties. Often when you energetically release something it will not be able to physically stay in your energy. It is the balance.

Fear of moving out of your comfort zone or being in a space where you feel like no one else understands you can keep you tied to things and people that no longer serve you. We are meant to love and be loved, so when something seems to threaten your sense of security this may cause for you to cling to what you are scared may be taken away from you. It is not easy to align with the fact that we are always loved because there are so many manifestations in this world that contradict that. The message is everywhere that you need more, you are not enough, and you won’t be loved until you become this thing. We know it is not true but it is one thing to know, another to stand in this truth, and still more to rewrite that paradigm. That is the work to focus on in your love life to yourself, partner (s), and others. Finding a way to be in love regardless of the circumstances around you.

To address your attachments and where you are standing in love, we will look at your relationship to beauty and ecstasy. First what does beauty mean to you? Is it someone’s physical appearance? Their actions, soul, or energy? Reflect on what you find to be beautiful. Beauty can be found in anything. It is a state that evokes feelings of attraction (feeling drawn to) and connection. Beauty is one expression of spirit. It is the essence that attracts us and causes connection NOT just that something is appealing to you. 

Now reflect on whether you feel that this term applies to you. Do you find yourself to be beautiful? If not, what is the disconnection? As a child I knew that I was beautiful and an amazing person, yet as I grew up I began to internalize the standards of beauty that as an overweight black girl and woman I was far removed from. I am still working on reclaiming my beauty but what helps is going back to what I knew as a child. My beauty and worth was not attached to my physical state, I was worthy just because I existed. It is not easy to hold this belief all the time but I put effort continuously into rewriting that paradigm for myself. Return to your essence. Acknowledge the beauty of your soul. Your soul attracts everything that you desire to you. Nurture yourself in ways that support your strengths of character. This will additionally assist you in the second area of concern, how do you find fulfillment and freedom? What brings you ecstasy?

Did you cringe when you read ecstasy? What does that word make you think of? Wild parties, freedom, drug use, excess, irresponsible, tempting, envy? In the same way that we invest so much into the physical aspects of beauty, this is a world that celebrates excess. Go big or go home right? You are supposed to be manifesting, generating, creating all the time. Oh no there’s no time for dreaming, resting, or sleeping cause you’ll sleep when you’re dead or you don’t get tired right? Lies! We all need to time rest, kick back and enjoy ourselves. I personally have lazy workaholic tendencies. It may take me a while to get going but I can become hyper-focused (thanks obsessive tendencies-I blame the Scorpio in my chart lol) on completing goals. This might sound great but it can become very unhealthy when I do not balance this with breaks. Excess of anything can be unhealthy so just as one balances production with rest, one must balance rest with production. Just as we put energy into completing the things that are important to us we should put energy into giving ourselves time to feel unencumbered and free. Define what freedom and sovereignty means to you. Then dive in.

When you release the ties that bind you through honoring your essence and sovereignty you enter a space where all things that can be achieved. It will also attract to you a support system that is aligned with abundance not fear. This will open the door to a deeper connection with Spirit. Go deeper, go lighter, go higher, go lower-find your balance.

With love,