I am so happy to be speaking with you all today from the beautiful City of Rennes les Banes in France. I am currently on a Mary Magdalene retreat visiting sacred sites associated in this region with the Madgalene.
Although there will be much to share over the next few days I wanted to really share with you what I experienced over the past few days. Hopefully I will be able to share what all is coming forth for me.
Let us begin at the beginning. This trip began right during the Mercury retrograde. As we know mercury retrograde is when the planet mercury appears to be moving backwards in relation to the planet Earth because of the trajectory of Earth’s rotation. Mercury does not actually move backwards but is just moving slower because of it’s path. Mercury being the ruler of communication, technology, and things associated with the mind we often find these areas being affected during this time. Plans going awry, communication being unclear, technology malfunctioning. As such this calls for us to slow down, such as it appears that mercury is doing and be more aware as well as intentional in all the things that we do. So with a big trip like going to France for a bit of time I made certain that I had planned ahead to be where I needed to be as well as double checking my plans in order to be able to take my time and move slowly towards my destination.
Even with that though I have been a bit unprepared. I was late for my shuttle and ended up leaving my jacket so I don’t have a lot of warm clothes to wear while here and it’s a bit chilly in the area that we are staying in. So I am feeling all the lovely changes in weather and temperatures. Then, due to procrastination which is truly my having anxiety about being prepared and thus not preparing because I feel too stressed because I was anxious bringing about…you guessed it more anxiety. So I was unprepared.
I also felt unsure though. I knew this was going to be a great trip. I knew that I would be safe and I knew that everything would turn out the way it was supposed to so I went along with my plans knowing that things may not turn out how I had expected them to because I just couldn’t feel what was coming. So I went with it.
I arrived at the airport and felt a bit out of my area again not having flown outside of the US before and being unfamiliar with that airport as I prefer a smaller one that is also near me, but slowly I made my way. I found myself sitting and able to relax before my plane arrived which really helped me to calm myself a bit although I began to have some trepidation since our plane was delayed. I knew though that all things would work out as they should and they did. I realized pretty quickly though that my anxiety is coming from fear.
Many people have shared their interpretations and understandings of fear which I have found to be helpful but also a bit controlling. If you find yourself in a similar space it is helpful to take some time to figure out what your relationship is to fear and how you react to it. It is not always easy to be able to sit with fear. We are socialized and biologically inclined to want to escape from fear. This has been imprinted in us in order to keep us safe and away from danger. Yet you will find that not all ways of dealing with fear will work for you. That is why we must have the freedom to explore.
So what I would like to leave you with today is the scenario of facing one of your fears. What would that fear be? What is your immediate response to this stimulus? Begin to present yourself with options of reactions to this stimulus and see which one slows your breath and calms you. This is the first step towards beginning to understand how best for you to deal with not only fear but stress.