I’m resting in a small 5 room inn and restaurant in Glastonbury after 3 days of immersion in the energies of Avalon. It’s been 5 days since my 31st birthday. This past year feels like a flash of light. I spent the beginning trying to navigate a really toxic work relationship while getting back to my true self. One that made me face my darker aspects that are mean, petty, and envious of others because I still compare myself to what others have achieved. It’s something that I am constantly working on to change my inner dialogue about my worth and my relationships to others. My inner dialogue sometimes is so supportive but at other times I say very disparaging things about myself. Some of these things are so ingrained in my psyche that I do not even realize that I’m saying them unless I’m being consciously aware of my thoughts.
My intention for my 31st year on this subject is to turn my thoughts towards the positive. I want to not feel that anxiety and rise in energy when there’s something really big I want to work on or achieve. So here’s my list of goals for the 31st year.
- make 2 videos a month
- post oracle or tarot cards everyday
- model in two spiritual photo shoots
- hold 2 spiritual healing retreats
- finish my coursework for my doctorate
- make some headway on my coursework for my counseling degree
- get my CHES certificate
- finish my dark goddesses/gods tarot and oracle decks
- finish my Goddesses of life and death curriculum
- write at least 10,000 words for my book
- save 3,000 dollars
- travel to Egypt
- meditate for 15 minutes everyday
- Work out for 60 minutes 5x a week
The goal that feels the most vulnerable to me is to open my heart. To move from my heart and use the wisdom I have learned along with my powerful will to manifest the life that I want.
I’ve had several folks share with me that my higher self has visited them asking why I continue to hold her back. My only response is that I’m scared of what would come. In my heart I know that things will work out but there’s still this fear of losing my current lifestyle that I am holding on to. I want to expand and do more but I also feel so tired. I must spend my time taking care of myself. What this means in relation to my goals, I’m not sure but I know that I can make headway on many of them. So here’s to a new year for me as we transition from the energy of harvest to death. I welcome change and new starts. I hope you do too.