Cheating

Greetings beloveds,

I am a cheater. I make elaborate plans to hide what I do in the hopes that no one will find out. Is it the rush? Is it the desire to have something that is all my own that I don’t share with anyone? I don’t know but what I do know is that I’m cheating on an old partner and I don’t care.

Fear. That’s who I’m cheating on. See at first I was like, oh I’ll move past fear. I’ll step out on fear. Then I said f-that, I’m gonna just go ahead a flat out cheat on it. I’m gonna do what I want with no need to share any information about what’s going on or my process. See fear doesn’t deserve that respect from me. Maybe in about a month. Maybe after I’ve realized that there is life past the fear. Then I’ll turn to that which makes me lose my breath and feel inferior and laugh in its face. I don’ know yet but I know I’m doing it.

How do you cope with fear?

-Rose