I need to do some working through feelings and ideas so I’ve come here to write and understand. I not only do readings for the general energy for each season but also for myself. This spring my readings were…powerful. Looking specifically at love, overall I received the Slow Down card. It says “when you are excited, you get ahead of yourself. Take some time to allow things to unfold”. Sigh, this is the one area that I struggle with the most. When I make a decision that I like someone and am interested in them, the Leo moon/Scorpio venus are full throttle ready to go regardless of where that other person may be in the relationship. I’m ready to go and yes that’s a bit selfish especially generally I am slow to want to move forward in the beginning of a relationship. Part of my impatience is fear. I’m afraid if I don’t move quickly and get this locked down then this won’t work out, I’ll miss the window of opportunity and they will leave. It’s a pattern I’m breaking but it’s a habit that’s strongly enforced within me.
Part of my issue is recognizing that I am worthy of love. That I am amazing and worth the work to maintain a relationship. When I’m comfortable with this knowledge it’s easy for me to be calm and let what I desire come. So April’s card is The Only Thing That is Real is Love: Shift your focus from the problem back to love. This month, right now I’m working on changing the chatter in my head to positive words/focus. I’m connecting to my way of making decisions which is splenic. It’s that tiny voice that says yes do this, no don’t do that, take that turn, take today off, talk to this person, offer this class. It’s guiding and present at all times. I just need to listen to it. Trust that inner knowing.
So I’m feeling brave and ready to take on the world. Be super authentic and vulnerable. It feels empowering and when I sit and ask myself, is this the right choice I hear a resounding yes! I’m going to slow down. Take walks, eat the yummy food that I get the yes or feel the call for. Take baths, write, keep my home clean. This will be enough of a distraction to keep me from wanting to push in my relationship when I need to be still and receive.
Here’s to new ways of being.