Queen of Heaven and Earth

Greetings beloveds,

This has been a busy season hasn’t it? There’s a meme that says “Capricorns are so boring, I forgot it was even your season”. No offense, but it’s true. I distinctly can remember the energy of Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius season. Now, in Capricorn season it seems very active but in a different way. At the winter solstice we reach the 7th gate of the underworld. We lay down our physical form to embrace the spirit of death and change. We enter the 8th gate to explore our subconscious dreams. The things that we only dare to express in the quiet of our journals.

There’s the celebration with friends and family, the liminal space of the time outside of time between the holy-days and the honoring of our pasts in the Gregorian new year. Then it’s go time. We rise from the 8th gate and begin our ascension. What do you leave behind? What do you take with you? We clear out our homes, set goals, buy a gym memberships, and fill our fridges with fresh vegetables. Yet, when we look at the astrology of this time in 2019, it is ruled by the energy of Saturn. Of planning, organizations, structure, time.

Inanna, who has made it clear for me that this is her preferred time of year to be honored. At what other time are we so clearly connected to the earth and the heavens. When a powerful narrative of the birth of a King being foretold by the stars in the sky is so richly woven through Western culture. Another narrative exists though. One of a Queen. A Queen who was selfish, strong, self-assured, slightly narcissistic, determined, ambitious, kind, and giving. A Queen who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it even if that meant playing some tricks along the way. The kind of tricks that gained her the 7 ME’s, brought her life where only the dead were allowed to tread, and eventually lead to her transformation from Queen to Goddess.

When thinking of Inanna, I remember her feisty side. She was so active and alive. She made me want to be like her. Brave. Secure or perhaps foolish enough to defy all expectations to accomplish her goals. She didn’t wait for anyone to give her permission. She made a decision and acted. I think about her in relation to winter, the stillness that seeps into our lives. It seems so far removed from her stories, yet this is the time when she wants to be heard.

What wisdom does she have to share with us? To slow down instead of rushing into things. We don’t always know what lies beyond the next gate. We cannot be sure that our beloved will mourn for us when we leave. That even with all the power, beauty, and magic of the world we still experience loss. We still make mistakes and have to make amends for what we have done. Above all else we have to do better. When we rise from the depths of the underworld and are initiated into a new form it is a gift. One that no one else has had the honor to receive. We should treat this experience with respect and to assist others. At the very least to help ourselves.

Kamilah Rose


Winter Solstice 2018: The Heart of the Underworld


            Welcome to the 7th Gate. On this day we enter into death releasing all that holds us to who we think we are and who we want to be. We are only spirit here. Even those who you care for or are responsible for are no longer under your care. The Anuna, the 7judges, have case their verdict. The judgement: death. Death of the beliefs, relationships, and self that binds us to the needs, desires, and rules of the world. Here, order is derived from Universal Law. “The ways of the underworld are perfect”. “Be satisfied, a divine power of the underworld has been fulfilled. You must not open your mouth against the rites of the underworld.”

            What do you feel when you release all your ties to this life? Are you free? Fearful? Open and ready to see what is next? Everyone has a different moment each time they enter death. It is exactly what one needs at that time. Perhaps you are in rest mode or perhaps you are feeling called to action. To move, to work, to heal, to breath, to be. In death, what actions are you called to? Love             Universal Love: Relationships will feel full of love. A divine love. The love that is shared directly from Source. This shifts the duality of love throughout shadow and light. Source holds all emotional states. For some, that love is is clear but in others it is refracted. When we release ourselves in the underworld we experience the unhindered love of completion. Embrace that this winter and DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS from anyone or anything thing.

            Now that you are released from your binds, what do you need to get done? Where do you need to put your energy or build your power? Review, review, review! Do you need to correct some relationships? If someone has been treating you crazy or taking advantage of you this year let them know that time is over. Develop your boundaries, state them, and enforce them. This may mean that you lose some things along the way. Stepping into your power can come at a price. What are you willing to release to be free?In Winter, it is your life. To return to the land of the living, someone must take your place. What will that sacrifice be? What are you willing to let die? Views,behaviors, habits, relationships, items, places that drain you? Let it go.

Welcome to the Underworld. 

Kamilah Rose

New Moon in Cancer: Shadow Work and Friday the 13th

New Moon Partial Lunar Eclipse in Cancer

Greetings beloveds,

I know that everyone has been doing their work, right? Digging in deep to see what your attachments, writing your intentions, evaluating your goals, and spending every evening in Epsom salt, essential oils, and rose petals…no? Lol well that’s understandable. The luxury market of self-care market may not be available to everyone and the question really  brings us to the shadow of the new moon in Cancer eclipse.

This is a unique event coupled with Friday the 13 the next day. In Tarot, the 13 card is the Death Card representing change, rebirth, and initiation. Ruled by Scorpio, Death is an invitation to explore the depths of your soul. Scorpio is afraid of nothing. They thrive within the underworld where we find the truth of who we are.  If we are looking for an opportunity to heal and integrate our higher/lower consciousness then this full moon is the perfect time to do so.

Jupiter in Scorpio going direct coupled with all of this energy is calling us to let old ideas, versions of our self, and parts of our stories that hold us in unhealthy patterns to die. When we write down our story, we are able to reflect and see where we could be living according to the 3 Lies.

Three Lies

When we live according to The Three Lies we move further and further away from who we truly are. This new moon, commit to being aware and present. This will allow for you to see when you are following The Three Lies. Then take a deep breath and come back to who you really are.

Next week, we’ll dive into how to heal from trauma through rewriting our stories.

Love you,

-Kamilah Rose

Burn it Down Baby! 2018 Full Moon in Sagittarius

by julia wens (1)

It’s the last full moon of spring and we are going out with a party! It’s Gemini season with a full moon in Sagittarius meaning it’s time to take adventures, have fun, explore, break out of your doldrums and start connecting with the world around you. Here’s the thing, it may not feel like a party right now. There’s a lot of changes going on in the world. Uranus moved into Taurus, Jupiter trine Neptune, and Saturn quincunx True Node- all pointing towards us being aggressively pushed towards our purpose.

This is a full moon about learning to have hope during the hard time. Sagittarius is the sign that takes us into winter. Into a time of reflection and internal work. It is the curious energy that makes us curious enough about the darkness to cross over into death because it is only through death or change that we can be reborn.

During this full moon take a moment to connect to your ancestors and deities that protect you. Lean on them and their ability to see beyond this current moment to the outcome. This will build your energy and give you support so your heart can be open to new ways to let love in.

Above all else at this time find out what your dreams are, be brave, and follow them. There is so much love and magic available to you. When we trust in the universe then we trust that we have access to this power and love. We acknowledge that it is our right to be great and fulfill our purpose. For some this shift will come from leaning into their higher power. For others it will mean trusting that YOU are magic. Follow whichever path feels right for you. There is no wrong way to go about this process other than to avoid the healing and growth.


The Phoenix can not rise if it has not burned. Burn it down baby.

-Kamilah Rose

Gods of Life and Death: Osiris


Greetings beloveds,

All things are in balance and with the feminine Gods of Life and Death, we have the masculine Gods of Life and Death. These Gods have been brought into our world to provide the masculine energetic journey from birth, life, and death to resurrection.

We start with Osiris, the brother and husband of Auset (Isis). He is the ruler of the underworld, death, and completion. From death comes life and the return of balance through their son Horus.

Here are links to learn more about this powerful masculine God of Life and Death.

Wikipedia: Osiris

Britannica: Osiris Egyptian God

Ancient History Encyclopedia: Osiris 

Ancient Egypt Online: Osiris

Ancient Origins: The Story of Osiris – How the First Ruler of Egypt Became God of the Underworld




April Retrogrades: Mercury, Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter

April Planetary Placements

Greetings beloveds,

I hope you all have been taking time for yourselves and focusing on your well being. It’s April already! Although it hasn’t really felt like it yet, spring is here bringing us fully into the season of resurrection and rebirth. Here’s your April Astrological forecast to help you through the labor process.

First we have Jupiter sextile Pluto on April 17th a positive position which provides us with the support we have been desiring to find direction on our path. If it seems as if everything is ALMOST ready to fall into place, this might be the time when that finally happens for you. Clear, cleanse, and be open to the opportunities that are presented to you. Pay special attention to small gestures as they may actual lead to huge advancements. Jupiter as the planet of luck and growth partnered with Pluto our planet of rebirth and resurrection creates the perfect environment to bring the dreams you thought were no longer possible back to life. Did you give up on a career, business, relationship, project or yourself? The doors that were shut before are now cracked open waiting for you to make the next move. Be brave!

On April 22nd, Mercury goes direct and it’s the new moon in Aries. Babes, if you have not come up from the underworld yet, it’s time. The world misses your light. The planet of communication and technology is spinning forward and we are resting in what we have gathered during our time in the shadow realm. Take your renewed self and come back darlings. We’ll be connecting with our higher selves during this new moon, as we feel the pull upwards towards our crown chakra. Psychic energy will be heightened at this time so prepare to have your extrasensory abilities be activated, particularly in relation to kinetic energy, your ancestors, and aesthetics.

On April 17th Saturn goes retrograde and Pluto joins it on April 22nd. Saturn retrograde calls us to slow ALL the way down. Take a moment to breath and reflect upon where we are. There is a scene in Titanic where Thomas Andrews checks his watch and then corrects the time on the clock. It is a deeply impactful moment where the concept of time is flipped. Over and over the discussion during the film surrounding time was to make the ship go faster. To not only be the biggest ship but to make the journey to New York in record time. Making good use of our time reflects the impact that time has on our perception of success. Faster, quicker, more, more, more. That is the drive of our Saturnian society. That growth comes through hard work, pushing more, going further than anyone else to achieve what has never been done before. Yet, it was this very drive that contributed to that unfortunate voyage. We keep pushing forward until something forces us to stop. This Saturn retrograde is the force which causes us to slow down and reflect upon where we find ourselves.

Your worth is not based on what you can produce, complete, or provide for others.

Pluto is the energy of death and rebirth. Of endings and new beginnings. Pluto rules over the sign of Scorpio, the water sign of our subconscious shadow. The deep dark recesses of our being that is unafraid to dive into the dark murky waters where predators lurk. Often, the predators in that space are the parks of ourselves that we reject push down until they grow into beasts that are beyond our control. Pluto, as the ruler of this space revels there. This is his kingdom. There is nothing there that is beyond his ability to understand, transform, and resurrect. The normal progression of time has slowed, the normal progression of life and death has slowed. We are truly in a liminal space where the laws of nature no longer applied. While this can bring freedom for some it can also be disturbing if one does not cope well with unstructured time and space,

With Pluto and Saturn both in retrograde in the sign of Capricorn, signifies an economic or material revolution. The ways we interact with money, status, power, leadership, death, and life will be re-evaluated. Capricorn is the bringer of light in the darkness of winter. They represent that space when we are completely in the underworld. Fully beyond the 7th gate. What brings you security? What has created your foundation? In what way does your shadow rule your life? Those inner drives that make us feel anxious in a crowd, constantly checking our bank accounts, concerned over retirement, fearful of becoming homeless, destitute, unemployed, losing your family, our car, our friends, ourselves. We mitigate these drives through coping mechanisms. During this retrograde, we can drop the facade.

Embrace your shadow and the stories you tell yourself about what you lack. Face the forces that insist there isn’t enough for everyone and show them there is another way. The light side of Capricorn: Community, love, compassion, empathy, sustainability, and giving. Build your new foundation on these principals and be reborn.




All Hallows Eve: Past The Seventh Gate of the Underworld



Autumn Equinox- Entering the Underworld

My favorite myth associated with the underworld is that of Inanna. You can read the full post on entering the underworld during the Autumn Equinox here. For now we will look a the tipping point of the journey as we pass through the 7 gates and move into the underworld. Through the seven gates of the underworld Inanna travels leaving one of the 7 Sacred Me’s at the gate. These are the portions of herself being connected to her power and position as Queen of Heaven and Earth. Finally stripped bare and bowed low Inanna enters the underworld where the Annuna or judges of the underworld pass judgement on Inanna with the final judgement being given by her own sister Ereskigal who attaches the eye of death, speaks the word of wrath and then cries the decry of guilt on Inanna. Ereshkigal then hangs Inanna’s lifeless body from a meat hook where she hangs for three days. Until the beings sent by Enki manage to slip through the gates of the underworld to find the lifeless Inanna. This is not the end of the Inanna’s tale but it is where we will stop today.

Autumn marks the time when we are at the beginning of the Inanna myth. It is time for us to begin to make note of who we think we are and prepare to leave that at the gates of the underworld. This is an exercise that takes time and energy. It can be quite taxing so be prepared to feel the shift of what it means to be within the underworld. You have set up goals, put those plans into place and then taken action to bring them forth. What has not served you or worked well can be left within the underworld. For when you pass through those gates and hang upon the hook during Samhain (Halloween) it will be your choice as you begin the ascent back to our world whether you would like to pick these portions of yourself up or leave them there. The power is in your hands.

Next week will be October 31st, a time when it has been known for the veils between the worlds to be at their thinnest. When it is easiest to contact our ancestors, spirit guides, or any other being that is no longer material on this plane. There are many rituals and practices surrounding this time. I suggest that if you are interested in honoring this sacred space that you locate or create one which best fits your practice. No matter what you desire to do next week keep in mind that this is the space to leave behind your regrets, dreams, accomplishments, failures, hopes, and fears. All of which holds you back from being truly free in your heart and soul. On the night of October 31st, lay them at the crossroads between this world and the next.

Inanna teaches us upon entering the underworld that we are not defined by our external actions and words but by the entirety of who we are. Our subconscious drives must meet with our conscious will and together their energy of creation ripples outward. Whether your life fell apart or came together in 2017 it is time to let your ego or conscious mind take a rest. Let your subconscious move towards the front. Let it take your hand and lead you to a metaphorical death of who you THINK you are. In doing so, your true self will be reborn into flesh.

Welcome to underworld.


SPOILER* Mother! Movie Synopsis, Review and Analysis: A Knife in the Heart

Greetings beloveds,

Well I have a doozy for you all today! Here’s my SPOILER filled synopsis, review, and analysis of Mother!.

First, I was the only person in this film until about the opening credits when a couple came in. I had never been in the stadium theater alone before. It was very nice but also set the mood  and tone for this film perfectly. I did not know what to expect going in. I saw the trailers and it looked like a classic horror or thriller film. I had no intention of seeing Mother! because I have sworn off movies that will produce fear in me, which horror/thrillers tend to do. Early this morning, before I arose for my workout I came across Chris Stuckman’s Youtube review of the film. As he explained that this movie was less horror more theory/abstract/metaphor I became intrigued.  I felt even more compelled to go once I heard that Darren Aronofsky directed this piece. You might remember him from Requiem of a Dream or The Fountain. So I decided to take myself to see the film.

I was not prepared for what I experienced. I still thought that this was going to be a horror or thriller movie because the atmosphere of the film had that vibe from the very first scene. The film opens with a woman who is obviously very badly burned with the world burning around her and a look of intense grief. That first visual is so stunning it immediately pulls you into the story. I thought, oh we are going to try to find out what happened to the first wife and how the house caught on fire. Which, honestly we do but not in the way you would think. We then meet our two main characters Mother played by Jennifer Lawrence and Him played by Javier Bardem. I had my reservations about Lawrence’s performance because I do not find that she is cast in the best roles to suit her style AND that often they continue to force her into roles/characters when she is clearly not interested in playing the part (see Hunger Games/X-Men). She was absolutely superb in her role as Mother though. She brought an innocence, growth, and emotion to this part that I feel probably came from real world experience.

On to the movie! From the beginning we see that there is a deep love between Mother and Him but that there is friction and tension because Him is a poet, a creator, who is unable to create. Him has writers block. Mother on the other hand is thriving- building, decorating, and caring for their home and Him. You can see Mother’s frustration at not being able to assist Him with gaining inspiration for his next poem. As she continues to work on the home and providing a space where Him can create we are thrown out of this “paradise” Mother is trying to create into a world of pain and confusion. There are several times when Mother touches the house, such as during a scene in the beginning where she is mixing pigments to create the perfect color for her walls, that she places her hand on the house and is able to connect with heart of the home. The heart of the home and Mother have a connection through which she feels it’s pain and feels hers. They act in response to each other. The Home is an extension of Mother.When these episodes occur, Mother moves to the bathroom where she has some yellow powder in a bottle that she mixes with water. This powder seems to have the ability to calm her down. Now I am not sure what the yellow powder was.

Their paradise is interrupted as Ed Harris’s character Man arrives followed soon by his wife played by Michelle Pfeiffer as Woman and their two sons who are engaged in an intense conflict. Aronofsky verified that these characters can be interpreted as Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel respectively. Harris and Pfeiffer’s characters bring to us the introduction of the human element into the world of the Gods. Ed Harris is clearly unwell and has no regard for Mother’s requests not to smoke in the home. Michelle Pfeiffer is invasive, inquisitive, and a bit unruly. She asks about Mother and Him’s sex life, their desire for and lack of children. She is intrusive and even says, “I can be too forward sometimes”. Pfeiffer’s character can be clearly juxtaposed against Mother’s character as confident, outspoken, forward, sexual, wise, and jaded. Mother on the other hand when she first interacts with Pfeiffer’s character is sheltered, protective, unsure, conservative, and passive aggressive. What we really get to see from the introduction of these other characters is Mother’s inability to be heard.

I immediately resonated with this display of silencing as I have been working on my throat chakra because I tend to feel like people do not listen to me and this is sometimes reinforced by their not doing as I asked. Mother experiences this at an even greater capacity. First, Him does not ask whether she would feel comfortable having the Man or the other’s that follow him into their home. Mother repeatedly asks throughout the movie, “who are these people? Why are they here?”. The premise that these people are strangers who feel as if they desire access to Mother’s home speaks to our idea that the Earth is here for us to ravish and provide for us. Although Him acknowledges that this is THEIR home, He feels comfortable making decisions without Mother’s input. Ed Harris’s character Man, at first listens to her request to not smoke in the home but then later she finds that he has been smoking in his room. The Woman just pretty much does what she wants. Barging in on Him’s office even when Mother explains and pleads for her not to do so.  Although, these people are in Mother’s home they do not listen to her requests. She has provided them with shelter, food, drink, and safety yet the Man and Woman are more concerned with being with Him then honoring Mother’s preferences. This goes so far as to destroy something very important to Him in their attempt to be near him.

Let me tell you, I commiserated with Mother through out this entire ordeal. Every time she would ask for something, make a request, set a boundary it was like she had never spoken. Sometimes they would even respond with “what?”, as if they had not heard her. I’m sure we have all experienced that moment when we express something only to have that person come back to us later and ask us for the same information again. Or to just ignore what we said altogether. Yet, Mother continued to clean up and care for everyone within the home. I found myself saying over and over again, girl let them clean that up themselves. Let them make their own food and drinks. But Mother kept mothering and I was reminded of the social pressure to present ourselves as open and welcoming particularly for the feminine energy. Being a good host is equated with being a good person. If you are not then you are rude, a bitch, or have a “bad attitude,”. The focus should be on making the other person feel comfortable despite how you are feeling. The sacrifice of the self is deemed acceptable to please others.

Things continue to fall apart the more people come to their home. There is a fight between the brothers where everyone ends up leaving the home except for Mother because Him tells her to stay there. She pleads crying don’t leave me. This part broke my heart because this was clearly a traumatic moment and yet over and over again we see Him as more concerned with the welfare of their visitors then his wife Mother. He expects that she will be fine and that because she is home, he will be fine. It is the Man and Woman who “have no where else to go”. Eventually at the end of the movie Mother confronts Him about his abandoning her but it is too late for amends by then. The reality of seeing the emotional cost of trying to make everything perfect and be this supreme nurturer who gives and gives to everyone else but is left to fend for herself when she is in need of support was gut wrenching. It brought back memories of my own experiences of being in unequally yoked relationships. Where I was the giver and hardly ever the receiver. At one point even one of the son’s comments on the fact that they left her at the house in this very dangerous emotional moment. He leaves tossing back “good luck” before never being seen again.

This theme of silencing and not being heard repeats throughout the film. As more and more people enter the home the less Mother is heard, respected, and acknowledged. She eventually has a break after they flood her home (what connection to a biblical story does this symbolize hmm?). Now, Mother tried to warn the people that if they kept up their behavior they would break her home. Their response to this was “what’s her problem? She doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. Then when she was right it was like oh, oh well. Mother then confronts Him commenting on how it is always about him and never about her. How what she needs are never prioritized if they are even acknowledged. She then comments on his inability to have sex with her. (The Woman has recognized his inability to perform as their issue earlier in the film). Ding ding ding ding. Alarm bells go off for me as the tension of calling into question male or masculine virility, libido, and sexuality immediately makes me fearful of his reaction. It is one thing to comment on his not listening to her and need to control the situation in their home. It is another to talk about his sexual performance or lack thereof as this can be a very sensitive topic. Male/Masculine violence is a threat that although I have not experienced first hand, the effects have imprinted themselves upon my psyche as someone who works in the health care field. I knew that this could go several ways but more than likely would end in some form of re-connection.

They end up reconnecting once all the people have been forced from her space. This connection is physical, sexual, and passionate. The coming together of the feminine and masculine is powerful. The energy of the home shifts as Mother’s does. She brightens and the scene shifts to morning, brightening their home as well. It also ignites the energy of creation. Him began to feel alive when the Man, Woman, their family, and friends needed him but it was not until he united fully with Mother that he actually was able to create. Wow, what does this suggest about the idea of finding our purpose outside of ourselves? Him thought that he had to bring life into the home from the people around him. When he connected with his feminine element within the home, life was there waiting for him the entire time. Likewise, Mother wanted nothing more than to just be alone with Him. It took Mother speaking her truth/finding her voice by calling Him out to bring her back into her power.

This imagery brings to the conversation the need for balance. What we seek cannot be found outside of ourselves but if we are not brave enough to let our desires be known then they go unfulfilled. Also, we meet the Shadow of Mother in her passive aggressive acquiescence to Him’s requests even when she is not in agreement. To settling their issues with sex without exploring Him’s lack of communicating. We also begin to see fully that although it is not healthy or fulfilling for Him to seek continuously outside of himself, it is also not healthy for Mother to be so focused ONLY on Him and their home. We will discuss more on this later.

Highlighting again some assumptions we have of the magic of Mother, the feminine, and women, Mother miraculously knows that she with child without any validation from outside sources. She is becoming more like the wise Eve who intuitively was able to read the issues between Mother and Him. Although it might be said that tapping into her sexuality allowed Mother to become more open to her intuition, I argue that it was speaking and living her truth. Mother wanted to be connected with Him alone in their home that she made for Him. Whenever these desires were not honored she was out of alignment with herself. She was disconnect from her heart. Her heart and her home began to die. When we are not in alignment it becomes harder to hear our guiding inner wisdom. By expressing herself, Mother tapped into a deeper part of herself and her partner Him. This opened and activated her throat chakra and activated his root and sacral chakra stirring up the energy of creation. He then stimulated the same activation in Mother. They worked together to move and release the Kundalini energy of spirit and creation.

Mother knew she was pregnant and Him after a moment believed her. The spark was ignited. The wheels of creation put into motion. He began to write. All has returned to right in their world as Mother has again reinforced their foundation and Him has returned to creating. There is a beautiful moment shared that becomes marred as the same issues of desires, fulfillment, and connection rear their head. Him is driven by attention and the praise he receives from his creation. Breaking Banter’s Youtube channel compared him to an artist who thrives off the attention they receive for their work. We find that Him contacted his publisher before sharing his art with Mother. What was a beautiful moment between the two of them actually was between Him and many others. This really highlights the different ways that these two get their needs satisfied. Mother could be associated with an introvert who does not need a lot of interaction. She finds having to spend time and hold space with a lot of people to be draining. Him though THRIVES from spending time with others. He becomes energized and excited to create the more time he spends with people. You could also look at their love languages. Clearly, Mother’s love language is quality time, while Him enjoys acts of service which make his life function well so he can give/receive from the public.

Now this is the point in the film where everything starts to fall apart, literally. A very slow start for the first two acts noticeably speeds up after the poem/book is published. We see the final moment where Mother’s home is HER home. Where she has created and designed everything within this space. It is all hers that she freely shares with Him. Quickly, fans, people, his publisher, his followers steal this home and her creations away. What starts as people just wanting to be around Him turns to worship of his image, his words, his beliefs, his things. People pour into this home and we see that this is not a “house”, it is their world. Different rooms become different movements, eras, and situations. The lower levels holds more violence and aggression, the middle level/stairs are the spaces for reverence and worship, and the top level or Him’s office becomes the space of of the Gods. We could liken this to our subconscious, conscious, and superconscious or the Id, ego and superego.

As this last act of the film completes the new testament there’s a lot that happens during that time. We see the disconnect that exists between the people and Mother. No one listens to her. No one cares about what she has created. No one stops to see if she is healthy (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally) or how her child is doing. They push her out the way, they take her things, they talk over her. She only becomes relevant when she is with Him. Even with his Publisher, who I am interested in figuring out who she represents, Mother only matters because she makes Him look good. Once the Publisher feels Mother has served her purpose, the Publisher’s character makes an extreme change in her actions. The Publisher also made me realize that there is not a female character that really connects with Mother. There is though a male character, one of the swat team members or soldiers, late in the movie who attempts to move Mother to safety. That was really the only person who seemed to “see” Mother. How is it that the person who has designed this world can go completely unseen? It seems that the lack of respect and acknowledgement of Mother from the beginning eventually created a world where she meant nothing. She was the same as everyone else. Except to Him.

As Mother gets closer to giving birth, the more the house reacts to her state. Mother attempts to leave the home but is diverted by Him. He refuses to take her from the house. Instead he moves her upwards towards the higher conscious space/his space. Him moves her to a place where she can give birth safely. Mother pleads with Him again to let it just be the two of them in their world bringing this being to life. This is the moment that Him speaks his truth. He states that he likes having these people here. He does not want them to leave. Finally, the truth is on the table. Mother is FINALLY beginning to see Him for who he is. We know now that neither Mother or Him saw each other for who and what they were. They each were trying to meet their own needs which kept them from being able to fully understand what the other being desired. Mother may have been more giving but she was TOO giving. Him liked to receive but he was took TOO much. Not that Him was not giving as much of what Mother gave Him, he gave away. Both masculine and feminine were out of balance.

The child is born and Mother moves into mama bear mode. There is a line where Michelle Pfeiffer says something to the effects of that when they have a child they will have created something together. Mother created the home, Him created his works but they needed something to bind them together outside of their selfish devotion to each other to meet their unbalanced desires. Now that Mother has a child, Mother is not taking any crap from Him. She claims this child and as such seems to no longer need all of the attention from Him. She has something outside of herself that is a part of them both to protect. Eventually though the world always gets in, or in this case, given a sacrifice. I will not spoil this moment yet, but there is a powerful scene about our creations, consumption, and ownership.

Mother, in attempting to finally be vocal and physical is protecting what is hers, is punished severely. Him moves to protect her but it is too little too late. Then he asks that Mother forgive them. I know that as I sat there I had the same look of disbelief on my face as Lawrence did. Forgive these people for the horrible things they have done?? It seemed unthinkable. I believe in forgiveness though in order to prevent the very thing that happens next. When the world and its’ people have betrayed you to the point where you are unable to forgive them, destruction will follow. Mother looks around her and the pain, devastation, and destruction that has occurred in her home. She sees Him who always chooses her too late to count. Mother moves from the bringer of life/light to the sword of truth, to the scales of judgement, finally taking her form as the bringer of death/darkness. As they say let that shit burn.

As a Priestess of the Underworld and the Goddesses of Life/Death, watching this cycle on the screen was profound. Seeing the attempt to bring life both from Mother and Him, then watching it’s colossal failure was painful. I felt their pain as they each tried to create something beautiful and everlasting. Mother gives the very last of her including the final spark of light which will birth a new world. The cycle begins again. Mother has changed yet Him remains the same. This indicates that Him has experienced this cycle before as this is the start of the film and the end. How many times has Him watched the world grow and die around him? And is it that being this creator who cares more for his creations than his love is his nature that he cannot divest from just as much as it is Mother’s nature to give all of herself to him? There was more sacrificed in this film than just Mother, her home, her child, her world. The chance for Him to evolve was sacrificed, the chance for Mother to leave this world and see what lies beyond the walls that she has built, the chance to see what they son may have created, so much was given to begin again.

What cycles of sacrifice do you find yourself in? Where do you need to stop and see the world and the people in it for who they really are? Perhaps they can change. If they do, it will be of their own accord. We cannot love someone into doing or being what we desire. We cannot limit someone to make them stay where we feel safe and cared for. Mother! is a film that calls into question our truth and how we express it. The complexity of the masculine and the feminine both within ourselves energetically and displayed externally.

I have been working with the energy of sacrifice for the past year. Trying to figure out what does it mean? What is it’s purpose. I tried to reframe sacrifice into making something sacred but it just could not wash away the dread I felt that radiated energetically from the word. Mother! placed on screen my deepest fear and understanding of sacrifice. No matter how you paint it, to sacrifice anything is painful and powerful. It will make your realize the importance of that which you value while also highlighting its impermanence. We will continue to give our all and it will be taken until someone makes a choice to do differently. Walk out the door, crawl through the wall, climb out the window. What you seek from another can be found within. But you must break the cycle.

Whooo well that was a lot so I’m signing off. To sovereignty, autonomy, self-care, community, and love.





Divination Toolkit: The Tarot Series-Judgement/The Sarcophagus

Divination Toolkit Tarot Series (1)

XX Judgement/The Sarcophagus

            Do you hear it? The sound of the trumpet as souls rise from their final resting places. They turn towards the sound hands raised in joy at the revelation of their connection to Spirit. This is the power of time and rebirth. There may be three people in this scene, perhaps two adults and a child. They have awakened from a lifetime of slumber to the knowledge that they are one with their higher power. The knowledge that heaven and hell lie within the mind. They are given the second chance to live their lives from this informed vantage point. They are not being judged by the heavenly being they are being awakened to judge for themselves whether they will create a paradise through a life of joy, compassion, and grace or damnation through fear, pain, and judgement. Do you hear the sound? What choice do you make?

The Judgement card come to us when we have reached a time of spiritual awakening. We realize that we are connected to something bigger than ourselves. Before, we were the walking dead living each day with the belief that we are separate beings whose lives do not interact beyond the surface level of perhaps romantic, familial, or platonic love. Before we are aware, we do not see each other at the soul level. That core of spirit which came from source and connects us all. When the common phrase “stay woke” is used it references this concept. Our consciousness has woken up, becoming aware of our connection to the universal consciousness.

The Judgement card also indicates that now is a time of change through death and renewal. There are old way, ideas, behaviors, and concepts of self that played their part and are no longer of use to you. It is time for them to be released. Let them die. Let the job go, move to a new home or location, release the relationships that are not supportive of your highest good. You have gone through the trails of the Hanged Man, the Tower, the Devil, the Star, Moon, The Sun. All of this was so you could figure out the type of life you wanted to live, so you could learn to discern the best choices for you. Sometimes these are hard choices that we do not want to make. They mean letting go of things that we love and cherish. These decisions could change our lives indefinitely, creating a whole new World for us to explore. Do not fear, the Judgement card is here to show you that after the light of the Sun showed us the false nature of separation and duality, that there are no wrong choices just different paths to take.


The Judgement card in reverse indicates that you fear change. Change finds us in many ways such as aging, death, or the release of old jobs, relationships, and items. When we react with fear to these things we become resistant. We find ourselves holding on to the old because we do not want things to change. Change is hard. It is not always by choice or has an immediate positive outcome, but it is the only constant. Things that do not change are stagnant. They hold no life. They cannot grow or improve. The reality is though, for those who have experienced pain, abuse, judgment, oppression, they have seen the shadow side of change to often to welcome it with open arms. I cannot promise you that the change that is coming will be full of love, freedom, and joy. What I can say is that you do always have a choice of how you choose to perceive the world around you. It is time to make that choice. Do you choose life or do you choose fear?

Numerology and Astrology:

The number 20 is the beginning of a new lesson. We have moved from the singular path of the one digit and the self in the double digits to connection through the number 2. This is a card to tests and trials. Those who align with this card have a keen sense of discernment which calls for them to make decisions based on empirical data combined with emotional insights through intuition. Ruled by the Moon, Earth, and Saturn we see the use of wisdom through our lessons learned and intuition assisting us in making sound decisions. Saturn as the Divine seeks to offer us the world if we chose to take it while also presenting us the truth of work that must be done to achieve this final step. Saturn challenges us to overcome or submit to our fears.

Moon Phases: Waning Crescent Part III-The Final Breath

autumn moments (1)

Greetings beloveds,

Today the moon is waning crescent at 3% illuminated moving from Gemini to Cancer. We have just moved through the sun sign of Cancer so we get a short unconscious boost of Cancer energy before the Moon becomes new in Leo.

As we complete the end of the crescent and the light slowly dims this makes us reminiscent of the death process. We are continuously experiencing endings and beginnings. Even with smallest event of breathing we create life through inhalations and release life through exhalations. It is an organic process that all experience here in this dimension and on Earth. The Waning Crescent moon is that final bit of air left in the lungs before the empty. It is our moment before we pass the 7th gate and enter the underworld. We are standing before the judges and will surrender our flesh to the meat hook. As Inanna has shown us it is through the journeys into death that we are able to let go of that which we no longer need and move to the 8th gate.

The 8th gate is something that was shown to me in the spring. My fellow co-priestesses and I ventured past the 8th gate to a space of rest and rejuvenation. That is the energy of the new moon. There you are given the chance for 1 or 2 days to review your life. To take a break from all the work that we do while under the guidance of the moon’s other phases. Tomorrow we will find that we are in a joyful space of creativity, imagination, and movement. We will want to find activities that support our desire to shine in the world and live our truth through our life purpose. If you find yourself still feeling a bit down take a moment and breathe. Sit on the couch, go out in nature, spend time with friends, or drink tea and have cookies in bed. Do what gives you that feeling of security and courage. The Lion is preparing to roar, so push the last of the air from your lungs. Place your hand upon the Lion’s head and prepare to be bold, brave, and majestic. Welcome to the New Moon in the 8th Gate.