Today was a beautiful day here in North Texas. The sun was shining and it was a moderate temperature. Just a delightful day. I met one of my dear friends for a quick bite to eat and chat. During our conversation I mentioned to her my difficulty with acting as the receiver within relationship and not as the initiator. I find the being patient portion of initiating contact and communication to be a form of gentle torture.
My dear friend told me a tale then about discipline and behaviors. She explained to me how taking a role of moving forward when the situation calls for time and space was a behavior that we may repeated so often that it became a habit. Being in a space of letting things come to us instead of taking action when it has not been called for takes discipline. This truly resonated with me in a big way.
I have a complicated history with discipline. It’s never been my strong suit as I have struggled with separating discipline from feelings of obligation and lack of choice. Above all else I make decisions based on what I believe will allow me the ability to have as much freedom as possible. The thought of being trapped, retained, unable to move or chose as I please is quite frightening. So committing to a choice that requires discipline to maintain the choice can feel like entrapment. To say, I will rest and wait to see what comes from this is a commitment to a choice that feels as if my actions/behaviors are restrained. Yet, feelings are deceptive. It’s imperative to examine whether this feeling accurately describes what is occurring in this moment.
Balance is a key to being able to maintain the desire for freedom with the discipline needed to create new habits and ways of being. Be gentle with yourself. If you are wanting to lose weight you take on a different set of behaviors with physical activity, eating habits, and ways of thinking. You may change your external environment so that you are inclined to be more physical and less sedentary. You may change your social environment so that the people you are around are more active and have similar view points as you do. You do things to make the changes that you want to achieve easier. Yet, if you move out of balance where there is no room for variance, fun, and continued growth then these changes you have made may swing your scales to far in one direction. So much movement may begin to irritate you as it lacks the space needed to be still and regroup. The super active social group may be a little too much all the time when you need a chance to sit and just watch a movie or chilling in nature without a need to move. There is always a need for balance. That’s why many folks suggests small changes when one wants to create new habits because smaller changes are easier to maintain.
This same message can be applied to the discipline needed to not act when rest and receptivity are required. Take small steps of identifying a friend or two who behave in this manner already. Spend a bit more time with them and observe their ways. If you are in a very aggressive, active, go-getter, super manifestor environment then locate some where where it’s a bit slower. Where taking time to rest is honored and appreciated. Spend a day or two here a week. You don’t have to throw yourself into the fire to change, although some of us have become accustomed to this form of transformation, you can slowly change your way of being and obtain the discipline through practice to maintain these changes.
So this is my plan for being more open and recieving.
- Get a reading. Lol well of course with me being me I did a tarot reading on myself to see where I was and what I needed to cultivate to be more open to myself/love.
- Make small changes:
- My recommendations were
- balance, organization, plenty self-trust, and redemption
- I will meditate on these and put my focus on getting these areas of my life togther as opposed to listening to the incessant clatter from the world of how I should be or what I should be doing.
- So I will set aside time for mediationand showing love for myself through some lovely baths and yoga.
- I’ll get back to my creative pursuits reading, writing, drawing, and finishing my tarot deck
- Spend more time at least one day reading through posts in groups online that hold the have tips and encourage these open heart strategies.
- My recommendations were
- Basically I will put that action energy back towards myself and filling my own cup. I will commit to these changes and discipline myself to cultivate these new habits and ways of being.
With much love,